Getting there wasn’t supposed to be a problem, motorway from the channel port, turn off once in Belgium and follow the coast road from Plopsyland through De Panne etc, to get us into the holiday mood. Everything was fine until we hit Nuewpoort. They were digging the road up and a dreaded diversion signs appeared. Someone in Belgium has a fantastic collection of these diversionary signs because once you join the new route they steal the bloody things, often leaving the unsuspecting motorist in no-mans land. Needless to say we got lost and saw bits of Belgium no one else has, or really needs too. I think we added about 16 miles and 40 minutes onto the journey. We eventually arrive at a damp and windy Middelkerke.

Middelkerke follows the coast for 2 miles but is only 2 streets wide. Huge blocks of horrendous high rise flats ruin the whole sea frontage. The builders, designers and those who gave planning permission should all be flogged to within an inch of their lives. The retired people of Belgium, who live in these coffins with a sea view are not blameless they shouldn’t buy them. Why oh why have some of them been allowed to use the same facial tiles as those favoured by German pub toilets? Architecturally stunning Middelkerke is not.

Our visit commenced just after 15th September. This is D-Day for the local dogs, that is the day they are allowed back on the beach. So after a summer of discontent they could again chase the seagulls along the shoreline all winter. Hopefully the amount of dog pooh along the promenade will also diminish as they spend some time on the sand.

First impressions of our holiday destination as you can tell, were not good. Our hotel (Isaura) however was fine. We hadn’t paid for gold taps and 5 star trimmings, so didn’t expect any. Our room was clean, fairly large and ready for us, plus it had a fridge. The public bar and terrace area were well laid out and every member of staff, except the cleaner could speak English (my wife and I can converse in German a bit, but nothing French or Flemish, let alone Walloni). They had five beers on tap, all from the big boys (Grimbergen, Maes Pils etc). The bottled beer list contained all the usual suspects (Palm, Trappists, Duvel, etc) and new to me, two different beers called Malheur.

Lets return to the seafront.

On the ground floor of the post war East Berlin style flats are all the promenade tearooms/bars/restaurants. Some of these are very stylish and have extensive and expensive menus. We didn’t realise this until we took the time to look inside, you would never guess the time and effort the owners must have used to transform them into such diverse and interesting places. Middelkerke’s beauty is, we discovered, behind the bland frontage of these often large, long and thin establishments. Others like ‘The Iceberg’ give you a sachet of Heinz mustard with your Cheese and Salami platter and although the place is spotlessly clean isn’t stylish in any shape or form. Plain mirrors and a collection of pot beer mugs along with cheap furniture didn’t rock my boat at all. So what if they have the largest beer list, we were not amused.

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Here is a list of the non-pils beers-on-tap I found along the prom:

Affligem Blond

Grimbergen Blond and Dubbel

Leffe Blond and Bruine

Hogaarden

Palm

Tripel Karmeliet

Rodenbach

Kriek from Timmermans / Jacobins / Mort Subite

La Chouffe

MacChouffe

Keiser Karel Blond and Dark

St Bernardus Prior and Tripel

Add two beers by Van Steenberge, exclusively for Caf’e Zandbank.

I may have missed a couple, but that list is fairly comprehensive, we walked the whole front four times looking at menus and peering in. I was hoping to find a few local beers on tap, but if the customers who frequent the bars of Middelkerke want a beer they know the name of, that is what the bar owners will stock.

Obviously the bottled selection available along two miles of seafront with 20 plus bars is too big to list here, although most were very similar. Very little imagination or individuality shown, compared to the food and wine lists of one or two establishments.

My wife and I found the bar called Watou, owned we believe by Brouwerij Sint Bernard (they stocked all their beers) to be the most atmospheric along the front. The outside drinking area/patio was also the best in our opinion.

There is one street that runs at right angles to the seafront, which has the banks and food shops along it. We liked a place called ‘Bergamo’ (55 Kerkstraat); they had an interesting list of 40 plus beers and my St Bernardus Spaghetti was so huge it shouldn’t have been attempted without a safety net. They had a choice of young Orval, 6 months old and one year aged bottles, strangely they also pushed the German Weiss beers from Erdinger.

No specialist beer shop in town, but one supermarket had a very good selection of beers and we also got some cheese from Chimay and Val-Dieu there, sorry can’t remember the supermarkets name.

Our overall impression of Middelkerke (over a four night stay in September) was good. At first we wondered what we had done, the whole town looked a mess, the weather was overcast which didn’t help. Then as we took a closer look we found designer shops where only cheap market like produce was seen before. Chic café and restaurants where rough looking tearooms has stood. Once the sun had arrived (on the forth day, a Saturday), grandchildren and young couples with families livened the place up. Old cold looking, wrapped up people with dogs were replaced with smiling Grandparents dodging pedal cars and ice cream spillages instead of piles of dog crap. We will never understand why the flats were allowed, but a new theatre and library along with the swimming pool and casino shows that Middelkerke is not about to die. This is a good town to use for a base if you wish to take advantage of the coastal tram system, which is why we chose it. We are glad we did.